Want to know why you don’t fit in? It’s not because of your looks. It’s not because of your physique. Stop because of your education. It’s probably because of the way you think. People quietly take notice of unique traits about you. It could be the way you use words in conversation. The type of clothing you prefer wearing. Doing things above average. Thinking above average. Doing legitimate things others won’t do to gain and honestly competitive edge. Maybe you’re just not cut out to be a career employee working for someone else for the next 20 to 30 years and retiring on 20 to 40% of your annual salary.
If you find yourself working on a side project and seeing the increase in jealousy, envy, or any type of hatred or resentment from family members, coworkers, your boss or anyone else in the workplace, it’s a subliminal indicator that greatness is ahead waiting just for you. You’ve probably endured countless trial and tribulation in your past and worked hard to get where you are today. Haters will always try to bring you down. When you feel someone hating on you, that’s them letting you know subliminally that success is right around the corner waiting for you, or a huge financial increase is just steps and miles ahead. Keep doing the transformation work out of “inspiration or desperation.”
‘Transforming Into Greatness’
“00:00
I know that this is going to get so many thumbs downs…
00:03
but your colleagues are not your friends. In today’s video,
00:07
I’m going to go through how you can keep it friendly and still professional.
00:11
Stay tuned.
00:17
Hello, and welcome back to my channel where I help you slay your career and
00:21
cultivate the successful life that you want. In my video last week,
00:24
I gave you 10 strategies that you can use to get along with your colleagues.
00:29
One of them was a little bit controversial,
00:32
and that is that your work friends are not actually your friends.
00:35
I’m going to throw up two disclaimers in this video.
00:37
It is going to start off with a good rant. Maybe pause the video right now.
00:42
Go and get yourself a tea, because my friends, there will be tea.
00:46
But also I do want to caveat to say that I’m not saying that you can’t make
00:51
friends at work, but the thing is,
00:52
even the people that you’re really close with in your work are likely,
00:56
they’re contextual. I want to get into that in today’s video,
01:00
and then provide you with a few guidelines that you can use to help keep your
01:04
relationships friendly but also professional so that none of them bite you in
01:09
the butt.
01:10
Now if you’re ready to jump into it, you’ve got your tea,
01:12
give me a thumbs up and let’s dive in.
01:15
There is something that I think a lot of professionals forget about when they’re
01:20
at work, and I think that this is something that is totally natural,
01:23
and it’s really easy to fall into this because when you think about it,
01:27
you’re at work the vast majority of your waking hours, most days of the week.
01:32
In fact, there is a very good likelihood that you see your colleagues more than
01:36
you see your own family on a week to week basis.
01:40
Especially when you have one of those really close knit office culture,
01:43
or an open office when everyone’s up in each other’s business,
01:46
it’s really easy to cultivate these artificially close relationships.
01:51
You’re going through so many of the seams things you have so much common ground,
01:55
but the thing that starts to blur of the lines is where the professional line
01:59
ends and where the personal line begins.
02:02
Here’s the thing.
02:03
I want you to remember why people are there at work.
02:06
I would say that everyone is there because they need a paycheck.
02:11
Need a paycheck, want a paycheck, whatever it is,
02:14
It’s all a matter of semantics.
02:16
People are at work because they want to get paid.
02:18
They’re there to make money or they are there because they are trying to build
02:23
success for themselves professionally. Trust me,
02:26
if neither of those things mattered, they would just be volunteering,
02:30
or staying at home on their couch with some bonbons and some Dr Phil.
02:34
I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me. Now,
02:36
here’s the thing between those two different options.
02:38
For someone as they’re just to get paid and to go home,
02:41
and between the person that is there because they want to grow up,
02:44
climb the ladder.
02:45
The first person might not be personally invested in that company,
02:50
and in the people that they work with.
02:52
Where the second person might be so invested in their own success
02:55
that they are willing to throw their best friend, their mother, cousin,
02:59
their sister, whoever under the bus to get there.
03:03
You don’t want to be someone who gets caught in that pathway.
03:06
Now also with all of the in between, every workplace has its gossip.
03:11
And one of the ways that you become ensnared in the gossip is to be talking
03:16
about yourself and things that don’t have any place in a professional setting.
03:20
I swear to God, I just felt the sums down, buttons being clicked right now,
03:25
but I think that this is really important for you to hear.
03:28
Because the people that you’re friends with at work,
03:30
even though you spend all of your time,
03:32
and maybe you have happy hours with them and you have your team events.
03:35
The thing is at some one of you is going to move on.
03:39
And it’s going to be exceptionally rare for that person to stay in your life in
03:44
a meaningful way. If you ever watched fight club,
03:47
you know the reference of the single serving friend.
03:50
A work friend is just basically a single serving friends who has multiple
03:55
servings.
03:55
As long as you happen to go to the same office to work at every single day, no.
03:59
Does it mean that that person is going to fall off the face of the earth if you
04:02
no longer work with them and never speak to you again? No,
04:05
but you’re probably not going to speak to them all the time.
04:07
You’re probably not going to see them all the time. And yes,
04:09
there are exceptions, but trust me,
04:11
you probably know the difference between the exception and the rule,
04:16
but I want you to treat those real authentic and life changing friendships that
04:21
can be formed at work as the exception rather than the rule.
04:25
And in fact,
04:26
I actually believe that more of the relationships that you have at work
04:30
are likely to form into those really substantial personal friendships when you
04:36
follow the guidelines.
04:38
And that’s why you need these three guidelines to be friendly but not friends at
04:43
work.
04:44
The first guideline is knowing where to draw the line.
04:46
I’m never going to be one of those people that advocates for you being totally
04:50
closed off all business all the time, super professional,
04:53
don’t talk about your personal life at all. No,
04:57
you work with these people every single day.
04:59
You probably want them to know a little something about you.
05:04
You probably want to know a little something about them as well,
05:08
and if you don’t, totally cool,
05:10
but then you’re probably not watching this video in the first place.
05:13
Here’s the thing. Ultimately,
05:15
you are going to have to navigate for you where the lines
05:18
are between your personal and your professional life.
05:21
You also need to learn where the lines are for the people around you. For this,
05:25
I really encourage you to keep it superficial.
05:29
I encourage you to run the things that you share through a filter.
05:32
Does this make me look professional or unprofessional? Now, just for fun,
05:37
let’s have a little pop quiz so that we can tell the difference between the two.
05:41
For each of those scenarios,
05:42
I want you to tell me if it was professional or unprofessional.
05:47
Tally up your score on leaving in the comments down below.
05:51
“I threw up all over the floor and the nightclub.”
05:55
“This chick shoes, like a 10…”
06:00
“I went to see that new play that was out over the weekend. ”
06:05
“I guess bought a DSLR and so I actually spent the weekend in the lower East
06:08
side photographing the buildings.” “I went out to eat,
06:13
I thought new restaurant and I was just having the worst gastro issues.
06:18
Ever.”
06:23
Now, drawing from the first guideline,
06:25
the second guideline is to keep it superficial.
06:28
Aas we went through that quiz, there was one thing that you noticed.
06:32
Which is probably that the unprofessional was giving a little bit too much
06:36
information, but where is the line?
06:39
One of the biggest mistakes that I see professionals make,
06:42
especially when they’re early in their career and trying to navigate,
06:45
is by actually oversharing information that makes them look unprofessional.
06:50
And even sometimes immature.
06:52
There’s a few conversations that I really discourage you from actually having at
06:57
work. Now, if you genuinely do have friends at work that are like legit friends,
07:02
have the conversation but not in the office,
07:04
not at the coffee station where someone’s going to overhear it.
07:07
Take it outside people take it outside.
07:10
Things that involve your dating life outside of a committed relationship,
07:14
unless it’s a really hilarious bad Tinder date story that is at worst PG,
07:20
anything involving money, whether you have too much of it or not enough.
07:25
Squabbles that you’re having with your parents,
07:27
any drama that you’re having with your friends, your significant other,
07:31
your dog,
07:32
or any information about your health that isn’t necessary for everyone to know
07:38
is probably something that you should not be talking about at work.
07:41
And I know that sometimes when one of those things goes wrong,
07:44
or you’re experiencing that stress that it can be really challenging for you to
07:49
maintain.
07:50
A positive attitude at work and for you to bring your best to the office so that
07:54
you can stay engaged,
07:56
keep your colleagues liking you and all of that fun stuff,
08:00
but it is really important for you to practice this because it is something that
08:04
can really have a dramatic impact on you.
08:06
One of my clients that I worked with made the mistake about talking about her
08:10
credit card debt at work.
08:12
She was speaking with a friend and another colleague was sitting by,
08:15
and her manager was in earshot and it was something that became the talk of the
08:21
office.
08:21
There was so much judgment going on about her and it took her a lot of effort
08:27
and strategy in order for her to clear up that component of her professional
08:32
brand. Which really set her back several months,
08:36
at least in her career.
08:37
You don’t want to be that person.
08:39
It is better to not overshare.
08:41
It’s better to under share than it is to overshare at work.
08:44
The third guideline is to say no to drama.
08:48
I know that I have offered this advice in multiple videos at this point,
08:52
but there is a reason for it not enough take this advice,
08:56
so I’m going to keep on saying it to you until I know that every single one of
09:00
you who
09:00
subscribes to this channel or watches this video really grabs onto it.
09:06
Because it is something that is going to make a huge difference.
09:08
There is good gossip at work where you are staying in the know and then there
09:12
is.
09:12
bad gossip that is talking about other people or even worse,
09:17
making yourself a topic of conversation by engaging in the vicious gossip cycle.
09:23
Break the cycle.
09:24
When you are not talking about anyone else,
09:26
no one is going to talk about you and even if someone does talk about you,
09:30
you are going to have so much good karma and goodwill by not talking poorly
09:35
about other people, that if someone is saying something to your colleague,
09:38
they’re going to say, Hey, she never says anything bad about anyone.
09:42
You shouldn’t talk about her like that. Or she’s a really good person.
09:45
Why are you talking about her like that?
09:47
Part of how you are going to avoid being a topic of gossip is to follow the
09:52
first who guidelines. When you respect that,
09:54
these are professional relationships in your life and not your BFFs.
09:59
You’re not going to be giving them fuel to be talking about you,
10:03
but it also requires for you to not talk about them. Listen,
10:08
you can be the most judgmental person in the world,
10:10
you can think whatever you want about your colleagues.
10:13
Don’t tell any of your coworkers.
10:16
Go and tell your friends outside of work. Text your parents,
10:20
talk to your college roommate about it.
10:22
Do not share your opinions about your colleagues at work.
10:26
I know that some of you have seen people do this and they appear to escape it
10:31
unscathed. However,
10:32
I guarantee you that it does catch up with them. Now,
10:36
that leads me to a question.
10:38
Are any of your good friends in real life friends that you’ve made at work?
10:42
Let me know in the comments down below. Now.
10:44
I know some of you might be thinking if they’re not my friends at work,
10:48
can I date a coworker I want it is actually exactly what I’m talking about in my
10:53
next video. So if you haven’t already,
10:55
also make sure that you click that subscribe button so
10:58
that you don’t miss out on the next one.
10:59
Now if you have broken one of these guidelines,
11:02
and you want to do better or if you’re just someone who is trying to create more
11:06
success within your career and professional life,
11:08
I would love for you to join the Strive Squad.
11:11
It’s my totally free Facebook community for women in male dominated industries
11:15
who are working to get the pay, the promotion and the praise that they deserve.
11:19
I will drop the link down below. I hope to see you there.
11:22
If you haven’t already, I would love for you to smash that like button.
11:25
It really does tell me that you like videos like this so I know to make more,
11:28
and it also tells YouTube that more people need to see content like this.
11:33
Thank you so much for being unapologetically ambitious,
11:37
for taking this time to invest in yourself and for watching this video.
11:41
That’s it for this week. Bye for now.”
‘Food for Thought’
Hold fast to your tongue when you want to lash out in a reaction toward anyone. If you have a workplace Jezebel hater (sometimes with weirdo hair colors) approaching your work desk from time to time saying things out of turn or blurting out how one of their family members is in a particular profession, it’s an evil spirit inside of them that drives them to blurt things out toward you.
That right there is a giveaway that there’s something unique about you which is positively impacting someone you probably don’t know from a can of paint. Continue to build your side hustle business with your regular job, despite dealing with workplace haters. You’ll deal with haters anywhere you go. It’s how you respond back instructing you financially and keep you lightspeed ahead of your naysayers.
When you look back over your life years from now and what you’ve been through, you’ll be glad you went through this and that “back there.” Why? Because it prepares you spiritually and mentally to approach success with such humility that it won’t go to your head after achieving “side hustle millionaire” status.
Video transcript: Below is a transcript from the YouTube video above from the channel of Evan Carmichael:
“00:02
how do you deal with jealous co-workers
00:06
if you have a full-time job if you’re
00:08
working somewhere and you have a dream
00:10
to start your own thing you’re going to
00:12
find that the people you’re working with
00:13
often will be jealous of what you’re
00:15
doing because they want to do the same
00:17
thing but they don’t have the guts to go
00:19
out and do it some people will be
00:21
supportive and others will just be
00:23
flat-out jealous you can’t let their
00:26
jealousy their hatred their negativity
00:29
towards you hold you back from making
00:31
something great their opinions are
00:34
irrelevant I’ve got a great question
00:36
from one of our readers Cornell who
00:37
wrote in with that problems there’s a
00:38
full-time job starting a filmmaking
00:41
business and all of the coworkers are
00:43
really jealous of what’s going on
00:45
and the question is how do I handle this
00:46
how do I handle the ignorance and the
00:48
awkward jokes and the jealousy that come
00:49
from my co-workers so I want to share
00:51
with you a couple of coping mechanisms
00:53
that can help and and what helped me
00:55
when I was starting my business one
00:58
nugget of wisdom that will share with me
01:00
a long time ago by by a friend when
01:03
dealing with people who you’re having an
01:05
argument with is try to imagine like
01:09
they’re a baby or really really old
01:11
person because we tend to have more
01:14
patience right if there’s if there’s a
01:16
baby who’s yelling at you or
01:17
three-year-olds was yelling at you who
01:18
doesn’t understand the difference
01:20
necessarily between right or wrong you
01:22
have a little bit more patience so
01:24
somebody’s coming at you with a lot of
01:25
negativity try to just imagine them as
01:27
being an ignorant three-year-old
01:29
and have a little more patience so
01:32
that’s first the second you can decide
01:33
not to share right I mean it’s great
01:37
that you are starting your business
01:38
while you’re still at your job right
01:40
it’s a great way to start a business
01:42
make sure that you’re going to earn an
01:44
income from it and then move off and
01:46
eventually become full-time on your own
01:47
but in the meantime if people are hating
01:51
around you then just don’t share don’t
01:54
share what’s going on in your business
01:55
with them don’t share all the big wins
01:57
that you’re having because it’s only
01:58
going to cause more negativity the third
02:01
option is if you’re going to share don’t
02:03
just share the good stuff show them the
02:05
pain
02:06
show them the vulnerability show them
02:07
that you’re scared children that you
02:09
have no idea what you’re doing
02:10
show them that you’re in way over
02:11
head nobody wants to beat up on somebody
02:14
to win they’re down right there jealous
02:17
of you and they’re there throwing
02:19
punches at you because they think you’re
02:22
off to a better place and they’re
02:23
jealous right they want to go with you
02:25
they want to do that for themselves but
02:27
they’re not able to do it they don’t
02:28
have the guts to do it shatter the
02:30
illusion that this is a perfect world
02:32
that this is so easy and you’re making
02:34
tons of money like this is really hard
02:35
and you’re scared and if you share that
02:38
with them it’s really hard to get on
02:39
somebody and make fun of them if they’re
02:42
sharing that they’re really scared about
02:43
something but if you come in and you’re
02:45
acting all tough and and you just landed
02:47
this big deal and you’re bragging about
02:48
it then of course people are going to
02:50
hate on you and they’re going to be
02:50
really jealous
02:51
I’ll make jokes but if you’re being
02:54
really vulnerable and really real then
02:57
it breaks down the walls a little bit
02:59
and they won’t be as quick to criticize
03:02
you okay the last option here is to just
03:05
ignore them you know what you’re doing
03:07
your thing you’re building your dream
03:09
you’re doing the right thing you’re
03:10
passionate what you’re doing you’re
03:11
helping people you know you’re not going
03:13
to be there for very long at that job
03:14
you’re going to have your own company
03:16
doing great things ignore the haters
03:19
because you’re going to have them always
03:21
in your business if it’s not the
03:23
full-time people who are you’re working
03:24
with it’s going to be other people
03:25
around you there’s always going to be
03:27
people who are jealous of what you’re
03:29
doing it has nothing to do with you with
03:30
their own insecurities and you can lap
03:33
them off and ignore them because you
03:35
know you’re doing the right thing one
03:38
thing that really helped me when I was
03:40
getting my business started I was in
03:43
University and I had a really tough
03:47
decision as to whether I should start my
03:50
own business I was running there already
03:52
part-time I didn’t know if I should jump
03:54
into that full-time or if I should go
03:55
get a job and I had interviewed with
03:57
some really successful companies and
03:59
thought maybe I should go work for them
04:02
I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with
04:03
my career and all of my friends were
04:05
going that route they were all getting
04:07
jobs and so that’s really it’s really
04:12
hard to go the other way you know when
04:13
your friends are all doing one thing and
04:15
you’re the only black sheep it’s really
04:17
hard to have the courage in Fortitude to
04:19
go a different direction and so what I
04:23
did was
04:24
some friends were really encouraging and
04:25
some friends were jealous and thought it
04:27
was stupid for doing my own thing
04:29
instead of taking a high paying job it’s
04:32
really important that you create an
04:34
environment for yourself
04:36
that builds you up that lifts you up and
04:39
that’s from the friends that you hang
04:40
out with that’s when the family members
04:42
who are around you that’s from the books
04:45
you read the websites you visit the
04:46
things that you listen to and the people
04:49
and the information that do not support
04:51
you you illuminate for your life you
04:54
know if you have friends that just keep
04:56
hating on you and saying what a bad idea
04:58
this is maybe they shouldn’t be your
05:01
friends anymore right what kind of
05:03
friend does that now you may not have a
05:06
whole lot of options right now these are
05:07
your co-workers and hopefully eventually
05:09
are going to move and become your own
05:11
boss and not have to deal with people
05:13
who you don’t want to deal with but at
05:15
the same time build up a network around
05:18
you of people who do believe in what
05:20
you’re doing talk to other people who
05:22
have started filmmaking companies hang
05:26
around those guys read biographies of
05:29
people like George Lucas and Steven
05:31
Spielberg and how they got started and
05:32
let their wisdom help guide you because
05:36
it can be hard if you’re by yourself and
05:39
you have people just hating on you and
05:40
seeing what a bad idea it is and making
05:42
jokes and you’re by yourself it takes a
05:44
lot of guts to keep going I don’t know
05:47
if I could have done it what helped me
05:50
through was reading those famous
05:53
entrepreneur stores and real isn’t that
05:55
those guys struggled and that there is
05:56
something and I’m building this for the
05:58
right reason and it just gave me more
06:00
confidence to keep going to keep going
06:02
one more day one more day one more day
06:04
and seeing that they struggled in the
06:06
early years made me feel like I could
06:08
make it to if they could make it I could
06:10
make it so those are a few strategies to
06:13
help you deal with with the co-workers
06:15
and also really encourage you to build
06:18
that supportive network around you
06:19
because that can make all the difference
06:21
in you deciding whether to go for it or
06:25
not or whether to continue or not and
06:26
and if you really believe in this if you
06:28
think you can make a difference as an
06:29
entrepreneur I want to see that you have
06:31
the opportunity to go and do it believe
06:34
those are you watching you liked the
06:36
video please give it a thumbs up
06:38
I’d also love to hear we have to think
06:39
please leave a comment under the video I
06:41
will answer each one I promise I’ll make
06:44
a video reply for those where it’s
06:45
warranted thank you so much I’ll see you
06:48
soon”
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